"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely."
Charlie Brown
Of Sex and Fucking
In my opinion, there are three different kinds of sex:
1. Having sex
2. Fucking
3. Making love
I have found that you cannot have all of these types with most people. The majority of the time, I’ve just had sex with the people I’ve dated. It feels good, there’s an orgasm, the end. Nothing fancy. With some of these people, there has been fucking. Serious dirty, perverted, bruises-the-next-day fucking. I’ve always said that if I really love someone, I want the shit fucked out of me. I can’t fuck just anyone but with the right chemistry, it’s perfection.
Making love is odd for me. I used to hate the term. Making love. It just sounds so Pollyanna. Like, why are we pruding up my sex? I have found though that making love is very distinct and I say this in a completely serious way, magical. It’s not all flowers and romance, it’s highly sexual and beautiful. Fingers laced, skin melting together, merging at the hips as you fuck (in a romantic way, of course), it can be lovely.
It’s rare that you find one person that you can all do three with. That’s like, the Holy Grail of sexual experiences. Someone who will take a riding crop to you while you’re tied to a chair and then murmur that you are his only love against your neck as you come together. I don’t mean to imply that sex is the most important aspect of a relationship but I think it might be the most beautiful. Sex is a physical expression of all the things you can’t find words for. I have my own love affair with words and use them exquisitely but when it comes to the man I love, I want nothing more than to wake up in the morning, climb on top of and straddle him, and press against him and kiss his sleepy mouth, moving my hands over his body until he knows that I wake yearning only to tell him how much I adore him with my body. Our bodies could have a conversation for years in this way, fingers discussing politics with skin, lips talking about what was on tv last night with your tongue.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have all three with the same person and it will be glorious. I promise. If not, find someone who can fuck you harder than you’ve ever been fucked. This is golden advice.
